A tale of two Catholic priests - the celibacy debate

Recently, I watched the movie "Doubt" for the first time. I am a huge fan of Meryl Streep, but I am still not utterly convinced that she was entirely virtuous in her role in the movie. I am, in other words, still filled with my own doubts as to the relationships with the priest in the movie and his students past and present.

This brings me to the story du jour. It seems that a Catholic priest is considering stepping down from the priesthood as he has fallen in love and might want to marry a woman he has been friends with for some 2 years. According to an AOL news survey, an overwhelming 76% of respondents do not believe that priests should be celibate. I am inclined to agree. Celibacy is not the natural state of being, nor is being alone.

My own priest, Father Joe was too a celibate Catholic priest who fell in love and left the priesthood. Years later, he is happily married to his wife Joanne and serves as an Episcopal priest. He is touching lives in ways he would not have been able to prior to being married.

I for one think there has to be a compromise in the Catholic church - for those who want to be celibate, let them so live and for others, let them live another order - that is let them be married and still be priests.

Here is the link story about the celebrity Miami priest - I'll let you decide what you think should happen.

http://news.aol.com/article/priest-admits-affair/474450

The Salvation Army and the Catholic church

I know I have grabbed your attention with the tag line - it is intentional.

I have long maintained, as it states in the bible, that whosoever forbids to marry is not of God.

I just watched an ABC news report of a Captain in the Salvation Army - "Doing the most good" in Wisconsin. He became widowed a year ago. Statistically, men remarry within a year of being widowed. He asked God to send him someone to fill the void - a woman beautiful on the inside and the outside. He met Cia and they fell in love - a perfect match. They cannot be married in the Salvation Army, which is a bona fide church, I learned today - she is not of the faith and so he is giving up his home, job, and pretty much everything in order to be with the woman he loves.

According to the Salvation Army website: "Salvation Army officers must devote full time to Army work. An officer who marries must marry another Salvation Army officer or leave his or her officer status. Married captains and majors will individually carry the rank applicable to their own length of service, not that of their spouse. In case of married officers, the conferred ranks of lieutenant colonel, colonel and commissioner will be held jointly. As ordained ministers of the gospel, they are authorized to perform marriage ceremonies, funeral services, and infant dedications. They also provide counseling and consolation to the bereaved." This strikes me as unfair on so many levels.

The story reminds me of father Joe - he is the minister at St. Andrews church in Hartsdale where I worship. He was a Catholic priest for decades. He met a widower, Joanne and they fell in love. He left the priesthood and they are happy in their life together. Indeed, Joanne is now attending seminary to become an Episcopal priest.

Why do these stories continue to surface? When will religions recognize that a man and/or a woman are more effective in their pastoral duties when they have a help meet. That person is not necessarily of their faith, but shares many things in common.

I repeat - whosoever forbids to marry is not of God.

The #1 quality men want in a wife - someone like their mother

This is according to a study by University of Iowa sociologist Christine Whelan, author of "Why Smart Men Marry Smart Women." Contrast this to "Why men marry bitches" - a bestselling book for women to understand why their nice girl ways don't appeal to the men in their lives.

I have known far too many smart men who have married Barbies and/or bitches. They tend to be adulterers too - the men, that is.

For instance, some years ago, I was just arriving at a party to celebrate the opening ceremonies of the 2002 Olympic games in Salt Lake City, Utah. I was walking across the room to greet friends and associates, when I heard a man exclaim, as he looked pointedly at me and held out his arms: "There's the woman I've been looking for all my life." As luck would have it, it was the husband of my then supervisor - talk about awkward. This is the same man who asked me to visit a "gentleman's club" that he represented as an attorney - in order to see that there was nothing really untoward. I don't need to visit a gentleman's club to know that exploitation goes both ways. On both occasions, I wanted to slap the man's face, but what can one do when one's boss is looking on?

I had this discussion about marriage with a dear friend who is going through a divorce. We are both in agreement with the biblical notion that men and women are to be helpmeets to each other. Ideally, they should have parallel lives - whether that be full time career, full time school or even full time motherhood/fatherhood - they should also have interests outside of each other - interests where they don't have to "ask" permission to participate. They then reconnect during the day or as often as needed to touch base and check in.

I have been seeking a helpmeet for over 10 years and have yet to find him. I don't want to be with a man who wants a bitch, nor with a man who wants someone like his mother, unless his mother was an amazing woman - a great mother, worked inside and/or outside the home and is good friends with him.

A woman has to have high standards as she seeks her helpmeet, or she runs the risk of being traded in for the smarter associate, younger Barbie type, or even the nanny.

For those of you reading this post, it is likely abundantly clear why I am still single.